Sean asked:

Do I deny myself the rightful, pleasurable act of procreation just to prove a point? Do I suffer in my
own anti-societal beliefs? Or do I give into my animal urges like every other trained monkey out
there?

============

Well, let's start with the assumption that you're heterosexual (since you speak of "procreation", and
Sean being primarily a masculine name). So, you're looking for a relationship with a woman, and you
think that necessarily involves sex. Really? What gives you that idea? If, because you're sexually
frustrated, you just go out and have sex, then, as you so accurately imply, what you get is a) "proving"
the point that you can, and/or b) just being an animal, i.e, not having a relationship much beyond the
physical, or c) not either of those, and simply suffering. You are implying that you want something
other than those alternatives, from the tone of your questions. (After all, there are people, both men
and women, who are satisfied with just physical relationships... and maybe for them that is enough
and is moral; I certainly see no reason to say flatly that it is immoral, as long as everyone is honest
about it — since we're doing the "ask a philosopher" thing here.)

Well, here's some advice, since that's what you're asking for. First, masturbation is just fine to take
the edge off your frustration. Not ultimately satisfying (to most), but better than nothing, and contrary
to myth, it's good for you. Second, you make friendswith a woman. If you can't do that, at first, with a
person with whom there is the possibility of sex, hang out with some lesbians and make friends, yes,
real friends, with them. No possibility of sex there, just a straightforward relationship with another
(female) person. Learn that women can be related to as friends, and how to do that. Then decide,
slowly and carefully.what you want in a relationship. Look for that kind of woman. Make friendswith
her, and if you (or she) can't do that (and many women have the same problem in reverse, for a
variety of reasons), start over, because believe me, 5—10 years down the road, you want a friend.

Does the above sound difficult? Unconventional? You're right. But I assume that given your rather
unconventional approach in writing to this particular group, you want something a little different. The
above is the best course of action I know; I took it myself and it worked, after many failures (for
whatever that's worth).

Steven Ravett Brown