Sean asked:

Do I conform to the life, the path, I know I must follow...my calling should I say...or do I enjoy life while
it is here? Do I accept myself as a philosopher and put off the little "kicks" that life has to offer in order
to grow, know, and do, or do I do what I know is right in my heart? My world is split right now. I see a
major fork in the road that went unnoticed until now. My car is about to crash because I can't keep
swerving back and forth, I know the asphalt is going to run out soon. I already know which path I need
to follow, but I get stuck in my head and end up partying to cope. There is no such thing as meeting
halfway here, I either accept my place in the world as a Philosopher, a dream I have, or I keep living
in the mainstream, pop culture, sex, drugs, alcohol, idiocy of world that I know all too well. Perhaps
I'm ranting here, perhaps I'm venting and making up my mind while I type, but I need input.

============

It sounds as if you throw yourself into philosophy too deeply and then party too heavily. Surely being
a philosopher need not exclude partying and kicks in moderation. You need to find out why you drive
yourself so hard in extreme directions.

You say partying is a way of "coping", but it is not. It's not dealing with the problem of "getting stuck in
your head" (whatever that may be) but trying to get away from it and it isn't working.

Perhaps philosophy isn't the right thing for you if it causes problems with your head.

Rachel Browne

I am mainly going to echo Rachel's response, but I disagree quite strongly with her suggestion that
maybe philosophy isn't the right thing for you. There are a lot of questions I would like to ask you to
understand where you're coming from a little clearer, so forgive me if you feel I am not answering
your question.

Maybe you don't need to separate the two so harshly. As Rachel has already commented you seem
to be yo-yoing between the two extremes. I disagree with you that there is no such thing as meeting
halfway. Surely one of the uses of philosophy is to offer a reconciliation that allows us to accept two
things that seem on the surface to contradict one another. And what real use is there in a philosopher
that excludes himself from the 'mainstream' of society? What kind of philosophy are you going to be
doing? How can you expect people to apply philosophy if it has no connection to their lives?

I can understand your frustration with the pop culture, the 'idiocy' that sometimes seems to permeate
our society but don't let this lead you to a philosophical life as a moral high ground. Both sides can
learn from the other. What is the point of doing philosophy if you feel that you have to cut yourself off
from the things you enjoy doing? On the other had what is the point of indulging so deeply in the
moment when it is clearly offering you no long term satisfaction?

What kind of a life do you envision yourself having as a philosopher? Why do you have to live it inside
a box? Why does it have to be devoid of 'kicks'? There is no point denying aspects of yourself in this
way.

It is very easy to get stuck in your head — and that isn't helping you at all. But there are other ways of
pulling yourself out of it without rejecting it entirely. Take a step back rather than a leap over the
fence. Philosophy is never going to be straightforward and it isn't necessarily going to offer you any
easy solutions. But maybe you're not thinking about it right. I know how frustrating it can be but you
cannot allow yourself to get bogged down with it all. That's not the point.

You are having problems choosing your road — why choose at all? Why can't you forge your own?

Sarah Taylor