Kayleigh asked:

I am a teenager and I get these kind of complicated thoughts in my head, they are things like rude
things put into sentences to do with my family. I know you will probably say I need special treatment
but I just want some advice from you to tell me what I'm experiencing.

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Well for one thing you're not telling me very much — "complicated" can mean just about anything; so
can "rude". I guess one question is, are you actually sayingthese rude things, or are you just thinking
them? If you're sayingthem, then you at least need help, maybe just talking to a friend, in controlling
yourself to that extent. Another question has to do with your situation. I mean, if you're basically living
a pretty good life, with enough money, clothes, you're clean, etc.; if no one is abusing you in any
serious way... then that's one thing. If you're living in a slum with rats crawling over you, clothes in
rags, no money, being beaten, or something like that, then we're in another place entirely, right?

Now, given that you can write reasonably well, that you can use and have available a computer so
that you can go to this site and ask a question (even though really it's not a philosophical question
and this site is for philosophical questions), I'm going to assume that you're pretty much ok as far as
the basics of living are concerned (although you could still be being beaten, abused, etc... how can I
know?). But I'll assume that you're living in reasonable comfort, being educated, and so forth.

Ok... Now I'll go through several possibilities, all or none of which may be right... how would I know?
So you'll just have to judge for yourself.

Here are some minor problem possibilities:

1) You're very smart and your family isn't. So you're bored and restless, you hate school, and you
argue with everyone.

This is a hard one. You're going to feel lonely, at least for a while. One possibility: read, study,
become a nerd. Get great grades and research how to go to anotherschool for bright kids; there are
such schools, and some give scholarships, i.e., money or free tuition, if they think you're smart or
whatever. Hey, do it. You won't be so alone there.

Another possibility: keep a diary, andread. You can talk to the diary, and live in part in the books. Not
really a bad way to go; lots of bright people do it this way.

Also, since you can deal with computers, join discussion groups, socialize that way.

2) You have a brother or sister who is the "good" one, and you've always been the "bad" one, but you
don't really feel good about that.

Well... I don't really know how to say this gently... just do it. Become another "good" one. You'll feel
better, get along better with your family, after the initial shock. If you don't want to do it suddenly, do it
gradually. If you don't want to do it at all... then you'll just have to figure out some way to balance
between being "yourself" (whatever that means) and "getting along"... in such a way that you aren't as
"bad" yet are still "true" to yourself. I'm using quotes here a bit cynically... you might think about where
you really are on these issues pretty carefully.

3) You've been just fine until recently, until something major in your life has changed, and you may or
may not be feeling upset about that... but probably that's what's upsetting you at some level.

Um. Talk to someone. It doesn't have to be "help", just talk to someone about it.

4) You've been just fine until recently, until something in yourself,probably sexuality, has changed,
and you're upset about that and don't know how to deal with it.

Yes, embarrassing. Talk to someone. Think about it this way: everyonehas sex, otherwise there
would be no human race, right? So everyonegoes through this. You are not alone, you are not
unique... in this, at least. If you reallycan't talk about it... go to a bookstore and read, read, read. Yes,
about sex.

5) Ooops, my mind just went blank. If I've missed something, go to a bookstore and read about it.
Read about what goes on with teenagers. Read about the physiology of it, if you don't want to read
the "self-help" section.

Ok, major problem possibilities. I seriously hope none of these are your problem... but:

1) You've been hearing, reallyhearing, voices (yes, I'm serious). Get immediate help. Right now, call
a clinic. This is not trivial, and should notbe kept secret.

2) You've started doing pretty serious drugs. Stop, if you can. Then, yes, get help. Period.

3) You've started doing what you think (and you're probably right) is too much sex. Stop. Yes, just
stop. Then talk to someone, anyone, andget tested for STDs.

4) You're being beaten (seriously) and/or sexually abused. GET HELP. Look for this, just the way I'm
putting it: a "shelter" for "battered women". No matter how you've been threatened, DO IT. You willbe
protected. Show evidence: bruises, burns, cuts, etc., if possible. People who treat abused women,
and kids, knowwhat bruises, etc., from beatings look like. Your being a minor makes it more difficult,
but not impossible; that's where evidence will help your case.

Well I hope those last ones aren't what's really going on. As I say, how can I possibly know what is
going on with you? I can't. Maybe I've totally missed the mark... well, that's the way it goes. Maybe in
that case you can use bits of the above to improvise something. If the problems continue, really you
should go to another site which is not primarily philosophy... we're not really set up for emotional
problems here.

Steven Ravett Brown