Robyn asked:

How does one cultivate emotional indifference toward some people?

============

Well, there are bookshelves full of popular self-help books. There's always that. But actually there is a
very old, tried and tested methodology for this... yes, I'm serious. Take up Buddhist practices. If you
can avoid overdoing the religious aspects and beliefs of any of the multitude of Buddhist sects, you
will find a core of practices which do help.

I'll clarify my position here. There are very many Buddhist groups, just as there are many Christian
groups. Their teachings and beliefs are extremely varied, but most have a type of "sitting" meditation
in common, which is different in type and aim from the meditation of Hinduism... at least in many
Buddhist sects. In addition, many of these groups have beliefs about "rebirth" or "enlightenment"
which are extremely varied. Further, in order to really understand Buddhism, just as with any other
religion or social practices, one must either have grown up in or around its practitioners or thoroughly
immerse oneself in it as an adult for a long period of time.

But if one approaches Buddhism as a set of practices designed to make coping with stress easier,
one can, I think, reap many benefits without committing oneself to particular beliefs. Probably the best
approach for a Westerner is through Zen... but some of the Zen sects are also very strict. You'll just
have to look around for something fairly secular and relaxed, yet reasonably authentic.

There is recent research which supports the benefits of meditative practices, in general. In addition,
Buddhism has been around for roughly 2-3000 years. One implication of this is that these practices,
in general, are good for you. Another implication is that it doesn't matter too much which ones you
take up, which implies that it is not necessary to subscribe to a particular set of beliefs to benefit from
the practice.

Steven Ravett Brown