JMR asked:

My ex-wife had herpes for many years. We were together eight years and split up last fall. She had
an affair and have H to someone who would not wear protection. She wants to end the relationship
but he tells here that she has a moral obligation to stay with him because she infected him. Any
thoughts?

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First 1 do not think that any one has a moral obligation to stay in a relationship with anyone else.

Personal relationships are not based on or maintained by what ones duties are to the other, instead
they are based on mutual loves and likes. If and when these likes and loves are no longer mutual the
relationship may end. There may however be residual duties and obligations that one of the parties
carries with him/her. but these can be fulfilled outside of the relationship.

For example, a divorced farther has obligations to his children, but these obligations can be fulfilled
independent of the husband/ wife relationship.

However, 1 think this is more a question of informed consent. If the ex-wife told her partner that she
had herpes (and he understood what the implications of this were) but he still refused to wear
protection then he is responsible for whatever consequences followed.

If she did not tell him she had herpes and had unprotected sex then she is responsible. I'm not sure
what the legal status of knowingly infecting someone with a potentially lethal disease is, but morally it
is a wrong act. But if she is responsible, this does not mean she ought to stay with him.

So the ex-wife has an obligation to tell her partner that she has herpes, if she fails in this obligation
she is responsible for the consequences, although she is not obliged to stay with him. If she did tell
him and he did not wear protection he is responsible for his actions and the consequences of them
and again she has no obligation to stay with him.

Brian Tee
Dept of Philosophy
University of Sheffield.