Andrew asked:

Why is it that the people whom we care the most about take us for granted?

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I don't think the people we care about always take us for granted. When they do so it is often because
we allow them to do so.

Often, the people we care about most take us for granted because they know we love them. To an
extent we should want them to take us for granted because if they don't they will constantly be asking
for reassurance — which is annoying. A person who loves wants the objects of their love to feel
secure, and if the loved one doesn't feel secure the person who loves doesn't feel their expression of
love is adequate.

There is a difference between genetic family relations and marital ones. In genetic family relations
there is always a tie or bond — which cannot be denied — and this enables one to take love for
granted. This is what makes family relations (when they are not dysfunctional!) so easy. In marriage
there is the constant possibility of divorce — at least these days — and it is dangerous on one level to
take love for granted. Where there is not genetic bond, it is important to try to continue to be a person
worthy of love and not to take love for granted. Yet, to an extent, you have to take love for granted
because this the basis of trust. If you don't trust your partner, you can fall into possessiveness and
jealousy which is ruinous to a loving relationship.

So perhaps the people we most care about take us for granted because they don't want to annoy us,
they trust us and know that we love them.

Rachel Browne