Leone asked:

Can you tell me why there is a terrible belief growing in our western society that being a victim of a
crime is worse than being a perpetrator? So many people accuse others of 'being a victim' as if it is
their fault. I hope philosophy survives the New Age onslaught of this silly way of thinking. I believe we
are, if not all victims at some time in our lives, then we are certainly at the mercy of our fellow humans
and of nature. I need to know if we have power or if we are victims, and if there is a difference.

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Suppose that a crazed roof-top gunman picks you out of a crowd because of your bright orange
T-shirt. You can be criticized for your dress sense, but not for 'making yourself a victim' of the
shooting. In getting shot, you became a victim. You didn't make yourself a victim.

I have heard it said that muggers and rapists know whom to prey on. Suppose that is sometimes true.
Suppose that meekness, or timidity, or some other more subtle quality identifies an individual as a
suitable target of such vicious crimes. Knowing this, there is something we can do to lessen to some
extent the chance of our becoming victims. Assertiveness training might be some help, or classes in
self-defence. It still does not follow that a person who suffers a violent assault is in any way to blame
for 'allowing' themselves to be perceived as a victim.

It is a rather different question when a therapist finds themself having to deal with a client trapped in
an abusive relationship, where the client regularly becomes the victim of their partner's violence. To
assert emphatically that it is not the abused wife's faultthat she is being beaten (more often than not,
she has become convinced that it is somehow her fault) is not to say that she cannot be helped by
therapy to find another way of being in the world, besides that of the helpless victim.

This is not New-Ageism, or some other 'silly nonsense' but part of the daily experience of practitioners
in the field.

It is a truism that, as you say, we are all potential victims. As the example of the roof-top gunman
shows, we are all, ultimately, at the mercy of our fellow humans. It is also a truism that there are times
in our relations with others when we have the opportunity to adopt the stance of 'the victim', or not to
adopt that stance and accept our part of the responsibility for the things that happen to us. It is a false
comfort to think that one has less power at one's disposal than is in fact the case. Instead of
complaining, “Look what you did to me”, or, “Look what you made me do”, we can take assertive
action. In that sense, psychology has something relevant to say to us all.

Geoffrey Klempner